


To baldly go

by Sorran



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: AU - different character background, M/M, Male Friendship, Possibly Pre-Slash, Rickyl Writers' Group, Rickyl Writers' Group December 2015 Optional Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-05 23:36:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5394476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sorran/pseuds/Sorran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daryl is a dumbass. He could’ve not suggested they stop on the way back for a dip in the river to cool down, and he wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To baldly go

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Rickyl Writer's Group December 2015 Optional Challenge](http://rickylwritersgroup.tumblr.com/challenges). 
> 
> Big thanks to the lovely [MaroonCamaro](http://archiveofourown.org/users/MaroonCamaro), who very kindly beta'd this for me at practically no notice, and who pulled me up on my Britishisms. :) If the positioning of the quotation marks and commas looks funny to you, don't blame her, that's all me - turns out the rules are not quite the same in BE and AE.

Daryl is a dumbass.

Or so he keeps telling himself. He could’ve not suggested they stop on the way back for a dip in the river to cool down, and he wouldn’t be having this conversation right now. Hell, he could’ve kept his boxers on, and Rick wouldn’t be staring at him with that intense, earnest curiosity right now.

“No, I don’t wax”, he says curtly, hoping Rick will take the hint and stop asking. What sort of stupid ass question is that anyway? Ain’t nobody got time for that shit in the apocalypse.

He doesn’t realise he’s said the last bit out loud until Rick gestures at his groin. “But…” The other man looks nothing but confused now. “You’re smoother than Carl’s bum when he was a baby!” he finally blurts out, before his expression suddenly turns serious. “Are you sick?”

“What?!” Daryl can’t believe he’s hearing this. ‘Just once, Dixon’, he berates himself. ‘Fucking think before you open your mouth!’ “No, I ain’t got the pox, if that’s what you’re getting at, _Officer_ ”, he grates. “Anyway, didn’t your momma teach you it’s rude to stare?”

Realising that he’s still staring at Daryl’s hairless crotch, Rick hastily drops his gaze. “Sorry”, he mumbles, blush racing across his face like wildfire.

“I should fuckin’ hope so”, Daryl huffs and wades past him, deeper into the river. He’d been looking forward to a lazy swim, maybe dry off in the sun after, but even though the sun still sparkles on the water and the cool current still feels so good on his sweaty skin, he just wants to get back on the road now and pretend this never happened.

Rick seems disappointed when Daryl climbs back onto the bank and into his clothes after barely enough time for a quick wash, but he simply follows the hunter’s lead and keeps quiet.

 

They’re half way back to the farm before Rick breaks the silence. “So how did you…?” He vaguely gestures in the direction of Daryl’s nether regions. “You know.”

Daryl groans. “Christ above man, can’t you drop it?” he glares. “What is it with your sudden obsession with my junk? Ain’t none of your goddamn business.”

“I know, I know!” Rick nods. “It’s just… Ain’t never seen anything like it”, he admits. “Lori, she used to wax - not now, true enough“, he babbles, “but she’d have ’ta get it done every other month at least, or the hair wou-”

“Rick!” Daryl interrupts him with some alarm. “I don’ need to know about your wife’s beauty routine! And I’m sure she wouldn’ ‘preciate you tellin’ me.”

Biting his lip, Rick wordlessly focuses back on the road, face flaming, and they go back to watching the landscape rush by. 

“I’m sorry”, Rick offers a few minutes later.

“‘S alright”, Daryl accepts. 

After another few minutes of silence he volunteers: “I got laser and electrolysis treatments”, because there’s something about Rick’s genuine interest that makes him feel like a jackass for not answering a simple question. But then his mouth does it again, opens without consulting his brain and adds: “I did it for work, didn’t want ‘ta fuck with waxin’ all the time.”

‘Fuck’s sake, Daryl, you dipshit. Shut. Up!’ His brain scrambles to catch up, but it’s too late.

For a breath or two Rick doesn’t say anything. Then he turns his head just far enough for him to be able to look at Daryl while still keeping an eye on the road and asks, calmly and carefully non-judgmentally: “Daryl, were you a prostitute?” 

This startles an amused snort out of Daryl. “Naw, Officer Grimes.” He grins, then begins to nibble on his thumbnail absent-mindedly. “I was an actor.”

There’s a cough that sounds suspiciously like suppressed laughter next to him, and when Daryl glances over at Rick, the former sheriff's deputy’s eyes are twinkling. “Daryl, are you trying to not tell me that you were a porn star?” 

‘Well done Daryl. Busted. You _are_ a dumbass.’

**Author's Note:**

> This now has a little follow up crack-shot - check out [The Right to Bare Arms](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5686516)!


End file.
